When people talk to each other, there are circumstances when one of the parties dislike what he is hearing from the other. However, though people say thing that we may not like, it is possible that their message contains something that we really need to hear out. The things that people dislike to hear from others may include negative things that are said about them. These criticisms may be delivered in a positive manner, but some people still find these things irritating. This type of reaction is proof of how a person resist one’s suggestion regarding changing his behavior in order to strengthen their relationship.
It is true that a number of people take action to change their selves. They may try to manifest good behavior and focus on the positive things, but they look the other way around when it comes to taking responsibility for their manners and hearing criticisms with an open mind.
Normally, when other people try to give feedback regarding his behavior, a person can come up with numerous reasons to justify that others are just trying to bring him down.
WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE SELF-HELP
Lots of people resort to self-help because normally, they have suffered enough from being criticized and berated by others or doing such thing themselves. Self-help then becomes a form of relief and makes a person feel good about himself again.
People tend to believe more in chakras and crystals more than going out into the world and making their own choices then try to blame it to their parents when things do not go well for them.
In some cases, people try to establish a business and suddenly find themselves getting overwhelmed with the pile of work that they must accomplish. Though they all have the tools to overcome their struggles, some still just give up and fail to take responsibility for their behavior. As a result, their problems only worsen; they try to take a breather using self-help guides and just leave their issues as they are.
However, what can truly help people are friends or reading materials that will not only tell them to be gentle and kind to themselves but to also avoid not taking responsibility for their the choices that they make.
ASKING PROVOCATIVE QUESTIONS
It will be very unusual for self-help gurus and coaches to ask provocative questions because their actual goals are to be liked and not to be considered as judgmental. Moreover, they avoid triggering pain and fear in others.
However, it is about time that people start facing and answering provocative questions. Answering such queries m ay help them discover something about themselves. They also learn to look inside them much deeper without resorting to crystal meditations or consulting their horoscope predictions.
What people must remember with provocative questions is that answering them is not about berating but being true to their selves.
For instance, when a person whines and complains, others do not point these flaws out of fear for hurting that person’s feelings or desire to provide support.
However, when people are asked about their own complaining and whining, they will most likely be offended. They may even refuse to recognize the fact that they whine and complain. As a result, they tend to claim that the person who pointed out their flaws shows no support for them.
On the other hand, if such people take time to reflect on themselves and realize that they do really complain and whine at times, then they are taking responsibility for their behavior. From this realization, they can think of ways on how to act better in other situations.